An attitude of gratitude

Today is a day that I need to say a few words to some people that mean the world to me. I’m not going to mention any names, because those of you out there know who you are…and truly, most anyone reading this has played a role in all of this, and I owe you all a debt of gratitude.

Even on the cloudy days...you know the sunshine is still there.

Even on the cloudy days…you know the sunshine is still there.

First of all, I thank the Lord above for all of the blessings I’ve been given. And those have been too numerous to count. Friends, family, opportunities…seriously, I lead a pretty amazing life. I have some amazing kids. I some times shake my head at the wonder of it all.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It hasn’t been all wine and roses. My life has not always been a golden path of gifts and a fountain of well-wishes. No…that’s not quite it at all. But the fact is, that your past makes you who you are, not what you have to be. The same goes for your experiences now.

The same is true for friends and family. You can grow together and grow apart. You can meet someone tomorrow that can become as close to you as anyone you have ever met. And you can wonder how you ever lived without them. Or you can rediscover someone you have always known, and remember why it is that you enjoy their company.

The beauty of it all is that it takes all types, all kinds to make it all work. And I have all types, all kinds, involved in my life. I have old friends, and new friends, and old new friends, and new old friends. I have friends that I have never met in person, and yet would do just about anything for…and I have friends that have never read anything I have wrote on a computer, and I would still do anything for them.

But the same is true for them all: you mean the world to me. I cannot stress enough how important you are to my day. You help me make sense of it all. I have this place where I can get it all out of my head. Let the words flow out, release, and be accepted…just as I am. Here’s a little secret: You may find this hard to believe, but I struggle with acceptance – a lot. I always feel as if I never have a place. I’ve always felt as if I’m never quite enough. And yet here – well, here…I am. And it’s mostly because of you.

Thank you.

Even on the cloudy days, the sunshine is still there.

Pause for a cause…Anne Carlsen Center

There are times in our lives when we see something, or are faced with something, and we are forced to take a step back and realize what we have been given…and the last few weeks have been that type of journey for me.

As many of you know, George (as you have all come to know him), my 5-year-old son, has a metabolic disorder that can have some pretty scary consequences if not taken seriously. I wouldn’t say that his diagnosis was stumbled upon accidentally, but it was definitely just the right mix of science and miracle. Our family has been blessed beyond belief. It has open my eyes to so many things, and I’m working through them, sharing my thoughts with all of you, as I work through them myself. (And for that, I thank you for your patience!)

But as we near the holiday season, my mind turns to those that haven’t had such an easy road. For those whose answers haven’t come so quickly, and without the successes that George has had…and for those that have had to make some hard decisions.

It is in those times that I am grateful that a place such as the Anne Carlsen Center exists. And I use the word “place,” like it’s a facility…and that doesn’t even come close to describing what it means to those that use its services throughout the state of North Dakota.

The center provides services, therapy, support, technology and training – but its so much more than that…it provides care, and love, and understanding, and compassion, and a shoulder when you are certain there is no where else to turn.

Usually, at this time of the year I start my Christmas Angel program – where I ask for you to send me names of people in your area that you feel could use a little pick-me-up. And then I set my angels to work, sending out little bits of sunshine to brighten someone else’s day. This year, I’m going to go about this a little differently. I’m going to ask that for each one of you touched by George and his story of success take the time to either make or donation or send a card of encouragement to the Anne Carlsen Center:

Anne Carlsen Center
701 3rd St. NW, PO Box 8000
Jamestown, ND 58402

It’s the season of thanks – but truthfully, every day is my season of thanks. Every morning I wake up and a pair of bright, beautiful, inquisitive eyes reminds me just how lucky I am. And I have three more pairs to back it up. I’ve been given so much, it’s not hard to pay it forward.

Yep. This pretty well sums him up.

Our journey is far from over…thank you for coming along for the ride.

The life of George…an update

It’s been awhile since I’ve updated on George’s story. And for those that have been following along, you’ll be happy to know that kindergarten has been going great! We’ve only missed 9 days so far, which in George’s world is pretty remarkable. And only once was it a pretty serious illness…but no hospital stays.

We had a check up at Mayo in October. The pediatric neurologist is amazed with our progress. She cannot believe how far he has come. We had a repeat MRI and the gaps in his brain that they have been concerned about have not grown any. Some serious miracles here, folks. Science and God…together.

Every day at Mayo, George would stop and say the Pledge of Allegiance to this flag. He's one amazing little kid.

Every day at Mayo, George would stop and say the Pledge of Allegiance to this flag. He’s one amazing little kid.

The last two weeks have been a bit more difficult. George has had some tummy issues that we can’t quite figure out. We’ve had an ER trip, a few docs visits…and it seems to be getting worse, not better. But we were able to get in to see a doctor this afternoon and we have a plan – and for some reason I always feel a little better when we have a plan. And if things aren’t looking better by Friday, well, then we are looking at another plan.

On day 2 at Mayo, George wore his Ninja Turtle sweatshirt. One doctor came up to him and shook his hand, and told him it was a pleasure to meet a real super hero. George is definitely MY super hero!

On day 2 at Mayo, George wore his Ninja Turtle sweatshirt. One doctor came up to him and shook his hand, and told him it was a pleasure to meet a real super hero. George is definitely MY super hero!

But with everything that has been going on, I’ve become a bit difficult. A little sensitive. Sleeping less. Needing more. Just not myself. I’ve lost a bit of my focus.

And then tonight, it all came sharply back into focus.

George was sitting behind me in the suburban on the way home. Today I had woke up late, managed to get the kids ready, worked, had rearranged schedules so I could squeeze in a doctor’s appointment for George, drove 45 minutes to the appointment, then back for two parent-teacher’s conferences, listen to my 10-year-old explain how a schoolmate had told him that he’s growing too fast that he’s going to die, talk to him about bullying and coping techniques, went to a book fair, gave my son some meds…and we were finally on the way home.

In the two minutes of silence that we were blessed with, George asked, “Is heaven fun?”

I didn’t know how…or if…I should respond. Why was he asking? Was he having dreams? Had he been hearing me talking to his doctors at Mayo? Had someone else been talking near him?

So I carefully said, “Yes, I am sure it is. But why do you ask?”

He said, “I just want to be sure I can play there when I die.”

Silence.

I couldn’t say a word.

My 5-year-old made me speechless.

I sometimes get so wrapped up in the minutia of life…and I forget the big picture. And then George will say something and it will be like God tapping me on the shoulder, reminding me that in the grand scheme of things, the destination is much more important than the scenery along the way.

I do not know how many more tomorrows George has ahead of him…nobody knows how many tomorrows they may have. Yet I know that George faces a few more obstacles than the average person. But he faces those obstacles with more bravery and courage than I could ever muster.

 

Clean water, wildlife and parks – but dirty politics

Let me clarify a few things: First and foremost, I’m a mother. My four boys are my sun, moon and stars, even when they drive me crazy. On top of that, I’m a farmer, a rancher, an agriculture advocate, a student, a blogger, a paralegal, a softball player, a writer and someone who enjoys having a fun time. I am not an economist, a tax expert, a politician (yet), an accountant, a lawyer…none of those things.

boys on first day of school

I have four reasons for writing…and here they are.

So when I write, I write from the heart, I do my research and I write my opinion. It’s how I view the world, and the $18 per year that I spend on this site gives me the right to share those views as I see fit, within legal reason. If you want to point out what you see as flaws in my reasoning, I’m OK with that. But be careful what you wish for – because I like research. And I like information. And I like to share.

Recently one of my posts on Measure 5 apparently ruffled some feathers. I was told that my “pie analogy” was flawed. I actually find that funny, because one of the “Yes on 5″ ads brings up the same analogy. Stating something along the lines that there’s still “enough to go around.”

He stated that this proposed constitutional amendment does not affect the general fund. I think he needs to double check that. Unless, of course, my research is all flawed. And it’s possible, since I’m not paid to do this professionally.

Check out the numbers yourself:

Oil Tax allocations for 2011-13 biennium

So that little issue should be answered. Yes, Measure 5 would seem to have an impact on the whole “pie” thing. But let’s say that wasn’t an issue. There’s still a lot of flaws here.

Let me check off my biggest concerns:

1) Mandated spending in our state constitution. How many times can I emphasize that this is a bad idea?

2) An extraordinary amount of money with no clear plan. It sets up a fund where money can be “granted” to projects that are approved by a board of people (only one is specifically a farmer).  $150 million per year. Almost $3 million per week. Yikes. I was told that it’s really not all that much money. I’m sorry, but as a mother of a child that has been diagnosed with a rare metabolic condition, I could only imagine what that type of money could do for research into a cure. Not that much money? I shudder to think of the type of world we’re heading towards, when you can scoff at that type of funding.

Yes, our family values the outdoors. But the type of funding tied to this constitutional amendment could change the world for a lot of kids in our state...including George's.

Yes, our family values the outdoors. But the type of funding tied to this constitutional amendment could change the world for a lot of kids in our state…including George’s.

3) I wonder if they forgot that our last legislative session passed a similar fund already. Oh, that’s right, though…they can’t buy land with that money.

4) We have some real needs in our state that this money can address. There are children with rare conditions that slip through the cracks. There is research that can be funded. There are advances that can be made.

I have no desire to get into a mudslinging fight. But I cannot put my children’s future at risk with this type of irresponsible mandate.

Do we really want to keep North Dakota’s traditions alive? Then let’s take care of the water, the air, the land the right way. Because it’s the right thing to do. That’s the North Dakota tradition.

My sunset tonight was just as beautiful as it was yesterday – and it will be beautiful tomorrow, too.

Hungry for Harvest – Chicken pot pie

I decided that I would start a little feature on my blog called Hungry for Harvest. I’ll post occasional, easy recipes that are a hit at harvest time. And my first one was a doozy!

I’ve never made homemade pot pies before. I don’t mind the one I buy at the store, and I always thought homemade ones were time consuming and difficult. I was wrong. And they are delicious!

The best part? Less than 15 minutes from start to in the oven. Can’t beat that during harvest season! (And I bet it would freeze amazing, too!)

Here’s my ingredients:

  • Two refrigerator pie crusts (go ahead, make your own, I’m just not that good)
  • Chicken breasts, cooked, cut up and seasoned to your liking
  • Frozen bag of mixed veggies (whatever you like)
  • 1 can cream of chicken soup
  • Heavy whipping cream (milk, half-and-half, all work)

I sprayed a glass pie plate with olive oil, and then laid out one pie crust.

In a pan, I heated the chicken, soup, veggies and cream. Mix thoroughly.

Dish into the pie plate, top with second crust.

Pinch together the two pie crusts. I then pressed the edges with a fork. Slice four slices in the crust, about an inch from the edge.

Cook in the oven at 375 for about 25 minutes, or until crust is golden.

chicken pot pie slice

Not the cleanest photo, but that’s real harvest cooking right there.

Stand back as the herd devours supper.

Four and twenty chickens...baked in a pie.

Four and twenty chickens…baked in a pie.

Measure 5 – Wrong for this Dakota

I’ve spent a lot of time recently talking to people about politics. I don’t mind, actually…in fact, if I can let you in on a little secret – I’m a bit of a political junkie. I love a good debate, and I enjoy crunching numbers and calculating polls. Yeah, I probably need to seek therapy.

But this Measure 5 that will be voted on in a few weeks in North Dakota has me worried. It’s not that I don’t think we can beat it – I’m pretty certain we will. What I’m worried about is that people really don’t understand what’s at the heart of the issue. And the only thing worse than someone that doesn’t vote, is someone that doesn’t understand their vote.

Let me try to explain: Measure 5, if passed, would take 5% of North Dakota’s share of the oil extraction tax and will set up a fund, where it will be mandated that at least 75% of the money must be allocated prior to the end of the fiscal year. It is a constitutional amendment.

Let’s just stop right there. The fact that this is a constitutional amendment should be enough of a cause for pause. This measure is intended to change the course of our state. Period. Our state constitution will mandate spending. Mandate. Spending. Is anyone getting this?

The amount of money is astronomical. We’re talking about millions per week. Per. Week.

But enough about that…I’ve already discussed that before.

Let me break this down a little further:

This mandated spending will come off the top. Imagine, if you will, that I have baked a pie. I give my oldest son a slice. Then when my other three boys come in the house, they ask about the pie. It would be pretty hard for me to convince them that the whole pie is still there. Yet, that’s exactly what the proponents of this measure are trying to do. They claim that it’s not taking money from other projects. But, when you take a piece of the pie, that piece is gone – no matter how hard you try to convince everyone that the whole pie is still there.

Big Bro passed his Hunter's Safety test this summer, which means this fall was his first year deer hunting. I bought him his own .243, along with hearing protection, and he had a great few days in the field - even though the amount of crop standing didn't help us out.

Big Bro passed his Hunter’s Safety test this summer, which means this fall was his first year deer hunting. I bought him his own .243, along with hearing protection, and he had a great few days in the field – even though the amount of crop standing didn’t help us out.

Listen – I love hunting. I love our parks. I’m a member of a few. I love wildlife. And I think they’re tasty, too. In fact, I just made pheasant for supper. I have no desire to see detrimental changes to our landscape.

But I will not saddle my children with a constitutional amendment that has no spending plan. I cannot vote for a measure that mandates spending in our state constitution. And I will not give my state an open checkbook to drive up land prices and wreak havoc with our property taxes.

Right now, EJ plays in the dirt...but I hope that someday he'll be able to farm in this great state. I'm doing my part to guarantee that. Will you?

Right now, EJ plays in the dirt…but I hope that someday he’ll be able to farm in this great state. I’m doing my part to guarantee that. Will you?

During the length of time allotted in this amendment, almost every acre of farmland could be purchased. I cannot vote for something that could possibly destroy what I love most about this state, and using tax dollars to do so.

Don’t worry. I’m not done writing yet.

When you worry about a worrier

My oldest child is a worrier. Yes, I know that it’s common for the oldest to take responsibility on, but this is a bit extreme. He worries about things that most children should never even think about – paying bills, ensuring that the cattle are safe, listening to the news, etc.

In fact, just last week we had a discussion that really opened my eyes to his level of concern – he wanted to know about the selective service process, when he needed to start signing up and his likelihood of being drafted. He’s 12.

My oldest son...he has the kindest old soul.

My oldest son…he has the kindest old soul.

I’m guessing that there was a conversation about this topic through health class. I am grateful that he comes to me with his concerns, but I wonder how long he let it bother him before he finally broke down and asked his questions. He sometimes has a hard time sleeping because his head is so full of questions.

I have no desire to change who he is as a person. And I am most certain that his worrying has not reached a level of needing medication. It’s not that he’s incapable of concentrating on anything else when he’s worried…it’s just a distraction.

An idea hit me on Sunday afternoon that I thought may work for him. In fact, I had read about it in a fiction book, but at the time it didn’t occur to me that it may help my son. But now I think it may be just the ticket.

In this particular story (sorry, I cannot remember the name of the book), the character worried about a lot of things. In order for her mind to rest, she would right down the problem, then write down the potential solutions. Nothing was too outrageous to write down. And finding a solution also gave her an outlet to research the problem. She was able to focus better, because she had an immediate source to go to with any problem that she encountered. And she didn’t spend so much time worrying about the “what-if’s.”

And I think this could work beautifully for my son. A journal of sorts. Yet he’d be able to write down the answers to his questions.

Maybe I can help him spend more time enjoying the little things...we all need to do that.

Maybe I can help him spend more time enjoying the little things…we all need to do that.

I’ll keep you posted on how it goes. I’m pretty excited to try this out and see if it works. And I think he is, too.

I never in a million years thought that as a mother I would have to worry about my son’s tendency to worry. But I’m willing to help him in any way possible – because that’s just what mothers do.

I’m there for him. And that’s one thing he’ll never have to worry about.