Being a perfect parent

Posted on February 17, 2013 by wagfarms

It’s been a crazy few days…in ways that I can’t even begin to explain. We couldn’t get to church this morning because Boss Man returned from his uncle’s funeral at 2 this morning, and I stayed up to watch cows so he could sleep. I took a few moments this morning for myself and did a little thinking, I guess some would call it reflecting, maybe others would call it meditating.

I’m reading a book called “99 Ways to Raise Spiritually Healthy Children,” by Kathleen Long Bostrom. It’s not my usual reading fare…but any time I see something that I think will help me be a better parent, I’m game to read it.

The first two pages went straight to my heart…and I know I’ll be hooked for the other 98 ways (but I’ll only read them one chapter per day, so I can soak in the information). The first thing the book tells me is that you should forget about being a “perfect” parent. Instead, work on being “pretty good” or “good enough.” The term that they use that spoke most to my heart? Be a perfect parent for your child.

Amen.

This chapter came with three things to always remember: 1) Remind yourself that you’re only human. Let go of mistakes and missed opportunities. 2) Recognize things that you can’t control. Go with the flow. 3) Remember the big picture. You’re not in this alone, and believe in grace.

You ARE a good parent, you just can’t base your judgment off what others think. You can’t use someone else’s ruler to measure your worth as a parent. So stop doing it.

Why does this speak to me so much? I don’t think these words would have stopped me so completely this morning, had it not been for our youngest son – you all know him as George on this blog.

Before George was born, we knew that he was trouble. At 13 weeks pregnant, I became very, very sick and ended up having an emergency gall bladder removal. The risk of the surgery to his survival was pretty high, but the risk of leaving it in was high as well. We moved forward, and he showed a great amount of resilience. My right kidney gave me all sorts of trouble, and we finally got to the answer during the final weeks of my last pregnancy. I have a twist in the tube that goes from my kidney to my bladder, and pregnancy would close off that twist…blocking my kidney and causing lots of pain. Stents were painful as well, so I tried my best to make it as far as I could.

In the last few weeks of my pregnancy with George, we did an amniocentesis to see if we could deliver early. At 37 weeks, it shouldn’t have been much of a problem, but my doctor wanted to make sure. It was a good thing she did, because even at that stage in my pregnancy, his lungs were very immature. We waited until 39 weeks to the day, then delivered by repeat c-section. (I had one regular delivery and three c-sections.)

He had a few hours of trouble with breathing, but nothing major. I spent a few extra days in the hospital because of problems with my cesarean. George and I left the hospital with a clean bill of health.

But that bubble didn’t last long.

Late-onset jaundice, troubles gaining weight, something that seemed like colic, but not…finally I gave in and went to the doctor, but our regular doctor wasn’t in. Blood work, lab tests. We left the clinic with promises of phone calls with answers. The clinic is an hour from our farm, so I took advantage of the time to get a few groceries and other items not available in our small community.

My skinny, tiny little boy. My heart.

Something told me to check our home voicemail. We received a message from the doctor himself, asking for me to return his call ASAP. (I don’t know why they didn’t use the cell phone number I gave them.) I did, and received the news that we needed to get to the hospital. We were being admitted.

What was wrong? It seemed like everything. Nothing made sense. Off-the-charts liver enzymes, critically low blood sugar, etc. There were more lab tests with flags than normal. And we didn’t have a clue what was going on…he was three months old.

Who can deny this determination? Meet all of your challenges head-on.

That began a whirl-wind of appointments, specialists and 18-months not knowing what was going on. I pushed and pushed…knowing somewhere there would be an answer. Failure-to-thrive is a symptom, not a diagnosis.

Finally, the fourth physician that was involved at Mayo (or maybe sixth? seventh? I lose track.) came up with a long-shot. Ornithine transcarbamylase deficiency. (You can check out the OTC tab on top) Yes, spell check, I know that’s spelled right. I’ve had to spell it many, many times.

Low-protein diet, tons of doctor’s visits, extreme caution with illnesses…it’s been a crazy ride. Imagine, a rancher’s son living the life of a vegan – yet stricter. But the payoff? Weight. Curiosity. Growth. Imagination. My son.

I have NOT been a perfect parent. But I have been the perfect parent for my son.

According to science, my son isn’t expected to live to see the age of 5. He’ll be 4 in April. According to science, my son should have developmental disabilities. His MRI shows the gaps where his white matter should be. He’s an extremely intelligent little boy who knows all his letters, colors, numbers and shapes. He has started adding and subtracting and can read simple words. According to science, he should be sickly and weak. He hasn’t been in the hospital since last year at this time. According to science, he shouldn’t be growing. His blood work shows that he produces no measurable amount of growth hormone. His pituitary gland is small and malformed. Yet he weighs 42 pounds and has grown three inches this year.

We are beating odds and blowing away science. And we won’t quit pushing.

No, I am not a perfect parent. But I am perfect for my son. And he is perfect for me.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Ice cream cone cupcake carrier

Posted on February 14, 2013 by wagfarms

I ran into a conundrum tonight…I made some pretty awesome snacks for my 6-year-old’s class, but couldn’t think of a way to have them make the one-hour-plus bus ride to town safely. And I really wasn’t keen on making a 30-mile round-trip jaunt to town just to deliver cupcakes. (But I would have.)

These ice cream cone cupcakes were super simple, just cake mix in a cone!

I made a shout-out to my pals on Facebook, to see what ideas I could come up with…and with their help, and some fine tuning from my hubby, I ended up with an idea that was just short of brilliant!

First, I found tall shoe boxes that were big enough to fit a cereal box in. Athletic shoe boxes are frequently on the bigger side, and would probably work great.

I had 20 cupcakes, so I needed to use two shoe boxes. In the first box, I used the ice cream cone boxes, and in the second box, I simply used an empty cereal box. Here’s how it worked out:

I cut an “X” in the box with a knife, then pushed it down in the middle, so the ice cream cones didn’t break. I wanted pressure on them, but not tight.

The ice cream cone fit perfectly!

I placed the cones around the box, close enough that they gave each other support, but not rubbing frosting…well, at least I tried.

The best part about it? These heavy-duty shoe boxes have great lids, making it easier for my son to travel with his treats! YAY!

And thank you, to everyone who shot me an idea or two…it takes a village.

WW – Calving workout fashions

Posted on February 13, 2013 by wagfarms

I’m short on words today. Well, actually, more like out of breath and can’t talk, but same difference.

This morning, Boss Man called and needed help getting a cow in. She wasn’t supposed to calve yet, so she was out with the rest of the herd. We bring them in as their due dates arrive, so that we can carefully watch those that are close, and still give lots of exercise and space to those that are further out. This cow ended up giving birth to a dead calf. What was the problem? We’ll never really know, but since our herd has a high percentage of twin calves born, Boss Man thought that she may have a second calf, so we needed to bring her in.

Problem was, she didn’t want to come in.

In fact, she rather preferred being out where she was.

And so she kept returning.

And returning.

And after chasing her through knee-deep snow for 45 minutes, her and four of her best bussie buddies decided to come into the yard…as if it were their own idea.

Needless to say, it was a really great, intense cardio workout. And I would have appreciated it more, had I not just finished 20 minutes on the elliptical. Seriously. The scale better show some excellent progress tomorrow.

That being said, I have to give props to my boot purchase from last summer. I picked up a pair of Bogs on clearance at a nearby Scheels store. (Nearby being 2 1/2 hours from here. Distance is relative, I guess.)

I love my new boots! Comfy, warm, and they stay on my feet! (And just so happen to be cute!)

I always wore Muck boots, but they would make the backs of my ankles sore after walking in the snow for any length of time. These fit like a glove, keep my feet warm and dry, and I don’t have to worry about Boss Man slipping them on accidentally! (Or any of the boys, either!)

Nap time, here I come…

No one gave me these boots, I paid for them with my own money…or it may have been a gift card…or something. Point is, neither company know that I exist, and all the thoughts above are my own – as scattered as they may be.

Calving season has started

Posted on February 12, 2013 by wagfarms

Yesterday was a day to mark down on our calendars – literally. We had two heifers calve, which means that calving season has officially begun. Unfortunately, one calf was born dead, which is always a hard situation to take.

So what went wrong? Well, somehow, during the birthing process, the calf ended up having a foot back. You see, a calf should be born like this:

But instead, it looked something like this:

And Boss Man did what he could to bring the foot forward, so the calf could be born safely, but sometimes it doesn’t work out…and this was one of those cases. We do our best not to intervene unless we have to, but you never know what Mother Nature has in store for you.

This morning I was fortunate to go out right at sunrise. And with the new day:

At first light, I noticed something on the straw.

The sun was just kissing the sky as I went out.

Comes new beginnings:

This heifer is a good mama.

The only problem with the calf being born on the straw, is that it’s only 19 degrees outside. Not ideal for a wet, warm calf fresh to the world. So I called Boss Man down and let him know what was going on. New mothers aren’t always predictable, can be feisty and mean, and really don’t appreciate their calves being messed with…so I let my hubby deal with the logistics of getting the calf someplace warmer. (It’s kind of like him doing laundry, I’m not happy, he’s not happy, so it’s just best if I do it myself.)

Boss Man uses the calf sled to bring the calf to the barn. Mama is close behind, making sure her calf is safe and doesn’t get too far from her!

The last 12 hours have had its highs and lows, but I know that we are where we’re supposed to be…and days like today make it all worthwhile.

No man needs sympathy because he has to work . . . Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.

– Theodore Roosevelt

Winter storm Orko

Posted on February 10, 2013 by wagfarms

Mother Nature has once again given us a strong reminder about who is in control…not that I ever questioned it for a minute. Winter storm Orko arrived in full force today, bringing with it about 10 inches of snow and 40 mph winds – white-out conditions.

Unfortunately, our heifers are due to have their first calves any day now, so that means that we don’t get a chance to hunker in for the storm, we must keep an eye on our livestock.

The cows stay where it’s protected during the storm. Their instincts help keep them safe…usually.

Today Boss Man spent a lot of time pushing snow. Although heavy snow fall is a pain, it can be useful as well. With our loader tractor, he can push the snow up into big piles, creating natural windbreaks for our cattle. As long as it’s here, we might as well put it to use!

Boss Man making a windbreak with the snow.

I was hoping to earn some Val’s Day (my nickname for Valentine’s Day…catchy, isn’t it?) bonus points by letting Boss Man catch a few extra zzzz’s while I took the first night check for our heifers. (We check them every two hours, to do our best to make sure that the calves are born in the barn – or at least brought to the barn as soon as possible, to keep them from getting chilled.)

My mistake? Thinking I was going to make a quick trip down to the calving lot and not suiting up properly. Instead of coveralls and the whole get-up (fashion plays little in calving), I just slipped on my Bogs, my jacket, hat, scarf and gloves. It wasn’t too bad, until I started fighting thigh-high drifts.

Even then, it wasn’t terrible…except when I started losing my balance in the wind and snow. Then I was working so hard trudging through the snow that I was melting the snow stuck to my yoga pants, soaking me clear through. I was chilled to the bone! A colossally stupid move on my part. Really.

I’m guessing I’ll sleep like a baby tonight, but may have a sore muscle or two tomorrow. Anyone looking for a great cardio routine? I think I found one!

Posted on February 10, 2013 by wagfarms

Two years ago, I wrote this, while waiting out a blizzard. We’re in the midst of one again, and I’ll be posting a new blizzard post tomorrow. The good news? We haven’t had any calves born yet. But that doesn’t stop us from having to check them every two hours, just in case.
Farmers are like mailmen of old, come rain, sleet or snow…but we won’t be getting Saturdays off any time soon! 😉 Take care, stay safe and stay warm.

Wag'n Tales

Farmers and ranchers are responsible for their livestock, their land, their resources, whether it’s raining in the south, or snowing in the north. That fact is true, even during a blizzard.

This afternoon a very strong storm hit our area. Now, compared to the tsunami that rocked Japan and the destruction felt in other areas afterward, what we were dealing with was small potatoes. But for our cattle, they still relied on us for safety, shelter and food.

That’s why Boss Man spent most of the evening in the barn, or out in the lot, covered in snow, not seeing more than a few feet in front of him, making sure that no new calves were born out in the terrible conditions.

And I went out this evening, once things had settled down a little bit, to make sure things were still good to go.

Although this video isn’t the…

View original post 42 more words

Flat Aggie visits our farm

Posted on February 7, 2013 by wagfarms

We had a visitor at our farm this week. He didn’t eat much, didn’t take up much room, but wanted to learn about what we do. His name is Flat Aggie, and he’s a project that was started by a teacher in California.

Many people are aware of Flat Stanley, the popular children’s book that follows the adventures of a paper man. This project is very similar, except the teacher sends Flat Aggie to farms across the country, hoping to learn through Flat Aggie’s travels all about what happens on the farm.

So what did Flat Aggie learn about on our farm? He helped with tagging our heifers with their cow tags. (To learn more about what the cow tags mean, such as their color, read more here.) For our heifers, that’s kind of like being adopted. When we switch out their calf tag with a cow tag, we’re including them in our herd.

A simple hair cut around the ears helps us see the cow tag better. Notice how the number on the left is much easier to see than the number on the right? Thanks, Flat Aggie, for the help!

While we were tagging the heifers, Flat Aggie also helped us trim the hair growing in the cattle’s ears. This makes it easier to see the tag numbers when we are working with the cattle. It’s important that we’re able to know which cow we’re dealing with from a distance, so that we can keep track of health, calving progress, etc.

This heifer (meaning she’s going to have her first calf soon) is trading her yellow calf tag in for a blue cow tag!

The last thing Flat Aggie helped us with was giving pre-calving vaccinations. For our cattle, this is very important for the health of the unborn calf. Think of it as a pregnant woman getting a flu shot. The risk of being ill while pregnant, or immediately after the baby is born is greater than the minimal risk of the vaccination. In cattle, even more so.

Before she goes back to eating her breakfast, this heifer gets a shot that will help protect her unborn calf from illness.

The best part of having Flat Aggie visit our farm? Being able to see things from another perspective. Having to figure out how to explain what we do so that a student could understand was a real eye-opening experience. And it’s great to connect to others across the country that are interested in what we do, but really have no way of finding out, other than through activities like this.

Did it take a little time? Of course. Was it worth it? Without a doubt.

Flat Aggie will be moving on to his next farm, learning his next lesson, sharing his next story. But you don’t need to have a piece of paper to encourage you to share your story. You can do it all on your own.

Trust me, people are wanting to hear what you have to say…you just have to take the step to share it.

Private school or a glass of milk?

Posted on February 6, 2013 by wagfarms

Some days I hate Facebook. I would be living in my own little world, not involved in much of anything, taking it easy, enjoying life…if not for Facebook. (Well, at least I feel like I would.)

What has me in such a tizzy tonight? I came across a news article that someone shared, and it made me mad. Really mad.

To sum it up, the House Education Committee passed a bill out of committee with a Do Not Pass recommendation. Here is how HB 1421 reads:

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATIVE ASSEMBLY OF NORTH DAKOTA:
SECTION 1. APPROPRIATION. There is appropriated out of any moneys in the general fund in the state treasury, not otherwise appropriated, the sum of $1,239,300, or so much of the sum as may be necessary, to the superintendent of public instruction for the purpose of reimbursing school districts for one snack beverage of either milk or juice each day for students qualifying for the free or reduced school lunch program, for the biennium beginning July 1,
2013, and ending June 30, 2015.

The purpose of the bill? To simply provide a snack beverage (milk or juice) for those kids that cannot afford it.

Now, I’m not upset just because of the mean-spiritedness of voting against this type of legislation. I understand that some people firmly believe that government has no place in humanitarian efforts, and that civilization and communities should be able to take care of their own. And if any one of the representatives that voted against this bill would have stated that specifically as their case, I would be a little more lenient in my disgust.

The 10-3 Do Not Pass vote came down to party lines. And the possible loser in the end? Children who cannot afford an afternoon snack.

Do you want to know what really set me off? Three of the representatives that voted against providing milk to underprivileged children have sponsored a bill that will provide state funding (approx. $10,500 per student, at a total of $32 million per biennium) to those students who choose to attend private school. (HB 1466)

Let me clarify. We cannot provide milk to children who can’t afford it, but we will give assistance to families that choose to use private education.

Does this make sense to anyone?

The only logical explanation I can come up with is the party line vote for the school milk issue. It cannot be a concern on funding, or else three members of the House of Representatives just publicly became the biggest hypocrites I’ve seen this year (although, to be fair, it’s only February, so I’m sure I’ll see more).

Last week at meetings I attended, I heard the phrase “It’s politics” thrown around a lot. And I do understand…to a point. But I think it’s about time we expect a little better from those that are elected to represent us, especially at the state level.

Things to remember at the next election.

Update: I just watched the live video feed from the North Dakota House of Representatives. The bill was voted down, by a very large margin. As soon as I have more details, I’ll pass them on. Thank you, to all who have shared this post.

Who won the Super Bowl? Agriculture

Posted on February 4, 2013 by wagfarms

Last night, I was quite surprised to see a few ads that hit a subject near and dear to my heart…agriculture.

Monsanto had a great ad giving accolades to farming, but the one that is being buzzed about all around the world is the “So God Made a Farmer” ad by Ram. It wasn’t a “new” idea. The Paul Harvey piece was done in 1978 at an FFA convention. So why the big deal?

Well, it seems that everyone is wanting to read something into it. Either the piece is brilliant, or it’s a rip-off from days gone by. The ad is either an amazing ode to farming, or it’s chauvinistic and racist. The ad is a great tribute to one of our most important industries, or it’s a detriment to modern farming.

So which is it? How about none of the above.

Let me explain it this way:

For supper tonight, I made barbecue chicken wings, fried potatoes and green beans. I knew I had to make it nutritional for all, but flexible for everyone’s taste. I gave Scooter his plate first. Big Bro was ticked because he thought Scooter was served more food. EJ showed up and was mad because he insisted that he had ate those potatoes before, and didn’t like them. George couldn’t have the chicken, but complained about the green beans because I gave him more than the others. Boss Man came into the house, late for supper, but wasn’t going to eat anyway.

Everyone at the table saw the meal a different way. And me? Well, I was just grateful that I could provide my family a meal.

These boys hardly agree on anything, let alone supper!

This Super Bowl commercial is the same. It’s simply a few minutes that has managed to open some ears and pique some interest in what we do every day. It has little to do with an accurate portrayal of agriculture, nothing to do with Paul Harvey’s political views and won’t solve the world’s problems. But it has everything to do with providing an opportunity – and we better take advantage of it.

And now you know…the rest of the story.

WW – Playing in the snow

Posted on January 30, 2013 by wagfarms

Had to take a few photos the other day of my boys out playing in the snow. It was a treat for them, since it’s supposed to be back with wind chills in the -50 range tomorrow. Brrrrrr…need to stay warm!