Why I beat my kids…

Put down the phone. Seriously. It’s not what you think, I promise.

Let me explain…

Yesterday, while picking George up from daycare, I noticed someone watching our exit. As I thought about what they had seen, I figured they were picking me out as the worst mommy in the place, but I was actually trying hard not to be. Really hard.

Almost every day that George goes to daycare, we race to the door. And every night that I pick him up, we race to the suburban. And to tell you the truth, about half of the time…I beat him.

Terrible, right?

Except not.

At the tender age of 4, my son is learning that Mom doesn’t always have to protect him from everything. That he’s responsible for his own wins and losses. That he can lose gracefully and still love the person you lose to. Of course, he just thinks he’s having fun.

And the same is true at home. We win some games, we lose some games, fits are not allowed, but good sportsmanship is mandatory. Is it hard to lose? Certainly (especially to your mom), but it’s a lesson that we don’t teach often enough these days.

It’s time that we stop telling our children that there is nothing they can’t do…because, truly, there are things they can’t do…at least, not right away. And if you never have to strive towards a goal and work hard, then what’s the value of winning?

Being an adult is hard…but having to become an adult and never having to stand on your own would be harder yet. So let’s spend a little less time making sure everyone has a trophy, and a little more time making sure that everyone is learning something.

And to the lady who may have thought I was off my rocker yesterday…yes, I was racing a 4-year-old, and yes, I won. But Mom needed a little boost to her self-esteem, too. 😉

My prize? The biggest smile and a great big kiss from the cutest 4-year-old I know. I’d do it again in a second.

Teaching our children includes teaching them how to lose, not just win.

Teaching our children includes teaching them how to lose, not just win. And when the prize includes a smile like this, that can melt your heart, well, you better believe that I give it my all!

6 thoughts on “Why I beat my kids…

  1. Very good. I understand that a lot of our youngsters who are entering the work force have always been given a trophy, always gotten a ribbon…whether earned or not. They think they are “entitled.” That they “deserve” something. Doesn’t work that way and they really get discouraged.
    Good job.

  2. Agree. Sad that in the sports area there are no more “losers”, just “others”. Seems somewhat silly to create such a negative feeling about losing. Losing creates some of the best, toughest, determined individuals.

  3. Amen, could not agree more, I even do this with grand kids and get scolded for not letting them win ALL the time. Everything we do is teaching a lesson, the question is, is it a positive or negative lesson. A lesson that will make them grow and be better or tear down

  4. Loved this post. I “beat” my nephew all of the time. My sister (his aunt) would always let him win. I gave the same reasons you did: sometimes you’ve got to learn how to take a loss. That’s what makes us better.

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