When you worry about a worrier

My oldest child is a worrier. Yes, I know that it’s common for the oldest to take responsibility on, but this is a bit extreme. He worries about things that most children should never even think about – paying bills, ensuring that the cattle are safe, listening to the news, etc.

In fact, just last week we had a discussion that really opened my eyes to his level of concern – he wanted to know about the selective service process, when he needed to start signing up and his likelihood of being drafted. He’s 12.

My oldest son...he has the kindest old soul.

My oldest son…he has the kindest old soul.

I’m guessing that there was a conversation about this topic through health class. I am grateful that he comes to me with his concerns, but I wonder how long he let it bother him before he finally broke down and asked his questions. He sometimes has a hard time sleeping because his head is so full of questions.

I have no desire to change who he is as a person. And I am most certain that his worrying has not reached a level of needing medication. It’s not that he’s incapable of concentrating on anything else when he’s worried…it’s just a distraction.

An idea hit me on Sunday afternoon that I thought may work for him. In fact, I had read about it in a fiction book, but at the time it didn’t occur to me that it may help my son. But now I think it may be just the ticket.

In this particular story (sorry, I cannot remember the name of the book), the character worried about a lot of things. In order for her mind to rest, she would right down the problem, then write down the potential solutions. Nothing was too outrageous to write down. And finding a solution also gave her an outlet to research the problem. She was able to focus better, because she had an immediate source to go to with any problem that she encountered. And she didn’t spend so much time worrying about the “what-if’s.”

And I think this could work beautifully for my son. A journal of sorts. Yet he’d be able to write down the answers to his questions.

Maybe I can help him spend more time enjoying the little things...we all need to do that.

Maybe I can help him spend more time enjoying the little things…we all need to do that.

I’ll keep you posted on how it goes. I’m pretty excited to try this out and see if it works. And I think he is, too.

I never in a million years thought that as a mother I would have to worry about my son’s tendency to worry. But I’m willing to help him in any way possible – because that’s just what mothers do.

I’m there for him. And that’s one thing he’ll never have to worry about.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “When you worry about a worrier

  1. That will help!! My oldest and youngest are like that. The youngest is probably a bit worse. Keeping a journal allows them to write the things down that their mind thinks it has to keep remembering and reminding. You’ll be amazed. The next part of the journey is the hardest. We opted not to go with medication. They have had to figure out what helps and what doesn’t. Some days are harder for my youngest daughter but when I look at how well my oldest is doing (now married and a mamma herself) I can say it will get easier. It never goes away – they just learn to make it all work. The best thing you can do is help them figure out what helps them and keep encouraging. And, as you said, always be there!! God bless!!

    • Thank you! As parents, we always wonder if we’re doing enough…and it never really hit me how much his worrying consumes his day, until he started talking about the draft. And then I remembered reading this book, and thought that it seemed like the perfect way for him to address his worries, come up with his own solutions, and let him (hopefully) move on. Without driving his mother nuts with questions! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s