You are who you are

I’m almost in tears sitting at my computer. It’s been almost three months since I’ve wrote on this blog. Three months. Wow. I cannot tell you how hard it was to not sit here and type. You have all become my friends…my family…my confidants…my support. For some reason, sitting here, typing, I feel free. I feel relief. I feel myself.

But I quit for awhile.

Never again. At least not intentionally.

It’s not like I was sitting around, twiddling my thumbs. School let out. My boys played ball, I played ball, my family had a few medical crises. You know, summer stuff.

Big Bro even tried his hand at pitching.

Big Bro even tried his hand at pitching.

Oh, the medical thing? Eh, no biggie. Just an aneurysm or two or three in my mom’s head. Oh, and my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer again…and possibly spots in his lymph nodes and his colon. All is pretty well now. Six weeks of radiation in three days will help matters immensely…if you can handle it.

And did I mention that my oldest nephew got married? And I’m still going to school full time? (16 credits for summer quarter)

And the most important activity of all…I took my boys on our first ever real-life, trip-away-from-home-not-family-event related. And they loved every minute.

A trip to the zoo..."camels" that looked an awful lot like goats and breeding season. Stories and memories galore...did I mention Scooter opened up the window in the car wash? Yeah.

A trip to the zoo…”camels” that looked an awful lot like goats and breeding season. Stories and memories galore…did I mention Scooter opened up the window in the car wash? Yeah.

George and I...proof that you can live with your heart outside of your body.

George and I…proof that you can live with your heart outside of your body.

Yes, I had a busy summer. Like most parents and people that enjoy their community. I got involved in our local Bountiful Baskets co-op. We had our county fair. I started going to a boot camp workout class.

A boy and his pigs. EJ is our true-blue farmer.

A boy and his pigs. EJ is our true-blue farmer.

But not writing was hard. I love to write. It’s as natural to me as breathing. And when I hit publish on a post, it’s hard to explain the feeling, but it’s like hitting an RBI in a tie game.

There’s a real reason why I quit writing for awhile. And it had little to do with my schedule. I am one of those people that thrive on pressure and crunch time. But what I do not deal with well is criticism and critiques. Especially from those that are supposed to be the most supportive.

I would have to say that over the course of the last two summers, I have learned a lot about myself. And I am grateful for every lesson I have learned. There are many that I need to thank for teaching me those lessons, some that have done so with encouragement and opportunities, and some that have done so through other means. Whatever the case may be, I have become a better person. And for that, I’m grateful.

I am back – blog world. I hope you are ready for me.

7 thoughts on “You are who you are

  1. I’m so glad you’re back. I didn’t realize how I’d missed your posts. What an eventful summer, both good and bad, easy and difficult! Often we grow through those tough times, even though we certainly weren’t looking for them!

  2. There are those in this world, with nothing more in their lives beyond stepping outside a rental, directly to their vehicle or a bus stop, to head to a job where they work inside to collect a paycheck. From there, at most, a matter of heading home to tidy up the place before showering and changing, to head out and meet with friends somewhere.

    Sadly – there are way too many of them. And too few of those that destroy their bodies to feed the world in some way or another. It’s a great divide. Too wide for the casual to critique the casualties.

    Your plate runneth over. Build a moat. Love your family. And look only at those here that… get it!! You’re not required to suck it up when clueless verbal softballs are thrown between your eyes! Prayers sent up for you and your family. Hang in there, Hon.

  3. I also have missed your interjections into my thoughts. Three Cedars Irish Dexters is right on with her last paragraph! Almost all of us have times we have to pull back and concentrate on what we know is our top priority.

  4. I’ve missed your posts also. But, sometimes you have to pull back. I understand. You’re doing so much good for your family and your community, and ultimately the world of agriculture. You have my support! (I love your boys! They are growing so fast) I will keep you and your family in my prayers!

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